From Mud Pies to a Holiday at Sea: A Tribute to the C.S. Lewis Institute Fellows Program

by Katie Swain

“Fellow” — such a warm word, implying camaraderie, shared purpose, and belonging. That’s exactly what I found in the 2013 class of the C.S. Lewis Institute Northeast Ohio Fellows Program: fellow sojourners seeking to know the Lord more deeply.

I entered the program a renewed Christian in a tender relationship with Jesus, eager to grow in understanding His Word and ways. I also joined out of admiration for the Godly people who started the program nearby and wanted to learn from them. At the time, I didn’t realize how deeply this journey would shape my faith and calling.

Before the Fellows Program, I was, as C.S. Lewis described, “far too easily pleased.” In The Weight of Glory, Lewis writes: "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us... like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea."

That quote pierced me. I saw myself in every stage Lewis described — happy, but unaware of the depth of joy available through life with Jesus. Whether I was a barefoot child, a teen enjoying freedom, or a young mom with a backyard full of blessings, I was content with good things, but I didn’t yet know what it meant to experience them through the lens of His presence. The Fellows Program became the beginning of my “holiday at sea.”

It wasn’t the activities or the blessings themselves that marked this transformation. It was the presence of the Holy — not just in mountaintop experiences, but in the mundane moments, too. The laundry, the dog walks, the unanswered emails. I began to realize that awareness of God’s presence — even a flicker — is what shifts us from mud pies to the seashore.

At the Fellows Program kickoff retreat, the Lord whispered a verse to me in the middle of the night: “Freely you have received; freely give.” – Matthew 10:8. I woke with clarity — that my life was no longer about accumulating blessings, but pouring them out. I didn’t fully understand then just how God would use that whisper to redirect my life. Three months later, I said yes to a mission trip to Haiti and what began as a short-term commitment turned into a lifelong calling.

That simple ‘yes’ would become the beginning of a lifelong calling. My sister and I had started a small project, Brown Horse, a creative ministry to spark conversations about faith and raise support through Scripture-inspired apparel. After that first trip, Brown Horse transformed from a passion project into a purpose-driven mission. I fell in love with Haiti and the people I met — strong, joyful, resilient. I went to give, but received more: perspective, humility, endurance, and a renewed desire to listen for God’s voice above others.

Since opening BHP Medical Clinic Haiti in 2019, our Haitian staff of 15 — including two pastors — has served nearly 45,000 patient visits. We don’t just provide medical care; we foster community. Staff and patients join in worship, Bible study, and prayer. It’s through this work, I see the spiritual disciplines—studied during the Fellows Program—put into practice: prayer, meditation, study, service, worship, celebration….

Today, I lead Brown Horse Projects full-time, having stepped away from corporate career in 2023. We continue to dream big — that our clinic in Haiti will remain a place of safety and refuge despite all that circles in Haiti and that one day and we hope to establish a local nurture center that will offer equine therapy and discipleship opportunities in our own backyard here at home. My husband (whom I met on that first trip to Haiti), our children, our neighbors, our church family — all have been part of this journey. As have many friends from the Fellows Program.

The Fellows Program didn’t just teach theology, it was table where I pulled up a chair and devoured everything God set before me. He anchored me to Christ and instilled a passion to serve — not because I owe God, but because I’ve seen His goodness and want others to taste it too.

So, what about your own walk with the Lord?

Are you living anchored in His presence, or distracted by the mud pies of life? Are you giving your time, your talent, your treasure in response to what you’ve freely received?

If you’re wondering what the next step in your walk with the Lord might be — start with presence. Behold Him. He is the One who moves us from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18).

That movement begins not with striving, but with beholding.

The C.S. Lewis Institute offered me a glimpse of this abundant life — and I’m still walking it out, one prayer, one act of surrender, one day at a time. I invite you to take that journey too.

Get to know the Institute. Consider supporting Brown Horse Projects. Find the place where your faith becomes action, and your mud pies turn into a holiday at sea.